Life is full of many important questions. Here’s one of mine. You’re read a great review of a piece of software, you buy it, install and run thru the presets and then you get busy, you go back to your old tired ways. You load up that same overused Metamorphosis loop or the boring conga samples you always use. WTFN? – it’s not like the deaf producer you’re workin’ for can tell a difference between Tito Puente and your stiff, grimy fingers poking at your keyboard-right? Why am I not currently using something I bought?
So I stumble across a piece of software the other day – launch it and begin messing around, thinking it sounds really good an why the fuck I haven’t been using it - and decide to really dig into it. It’s kinda like finding the phone number of that booty call you used to frequent, then kinda forgot cuz you were in love, and just looking at the number makes you all dizzy and makes your stomach churn like a 13 year old girl at a Jonas Bros show.
The booty I called up is Drumcore and it’s inner child Kitcore. Drumcore is a standalone working thru Rewire and Kitcore is an “in your host app plugin.”
I originally bought the Submersible Music product (hence lovingly referred to as Sub - www.submersiblemusic.com) because of the reviews, the sound quality online, the variety of sounds – and my frustration with Stylus’s lack of real drummer grooves and kit selection. Don’t pressure clamp my balls and rant about Backbeat – I burned out on those grooves 3 years ago. The Sub products fell into the area I like – killer sound with a quick and easy interface.
Well, Drum/Kitcore and I got to know each other again with some really great makeup sex involving wire brushes.
The Preamble (aka Scooter rants on making music not clicking the mouse or staring blankly at computer screen):
1. Manuals: I never read manuals. Believe me, after I have gone thru the usual excruciating process of installing my new purchase, authorizing it, getting it working inside my host seq – well, Martha – I just want to fucking play the thing - not read another intolerable manual.
2. Interfaces: All software interfaces should be at a 3rd grade reading level or lower. Developers need to put all the usual knobs/sliders, the actual knobs/sliders people use - really big and obvious on the first page. Put all the fancy shit programmers jerk off to on another page.
3. All developers should be required to have short tutorials on their website on how to setup their product on various DAWs. Some do, including Submersible, most do not.
Back to the story . . .
Sub did a good job here meeting most of my requirements of great software for working fast and making money. Talk about easy? Kitcore is like a drunk, soon-to-be divorcee perched on a barstool looking to get even with her cheating Ex. Even the bass player has a chance!
48 Pads of drum samples divided into 2 pages – Drums & Percussion. You select kits in a pull down menu. Sub violates one of my cardinal rules here on the interface – where’s my humongous forward/backward preset kit button to change kits???? To beat a dead horse – I’m pretty sure everybody who buys a soft synth at some point is going to want to change patches – and since it seems more likely that Sarah Palin will win the Nobel Prize in Physics before manufacturers come up with a standardized method for keystrokes, I want a big damn UP and DOWN button. OK, rant over, I’ve cried in the shower and I feel better.
Thank God Kit’s list pops up to the last one you selected and you don’t have to scroll down to the bowels of hell to find what you want - like when selecting a font in Word.
Hold Control (never read a manual just try either Control or Option while clicking anything – never fails to work) and click on a drum sound to substitute another kick from another kit – that’s sweet and easy. Basically you have to stick to the layout though – kicks only go in the kick slot. Snares only in the snares slots. Fine 99% of the time unless, of course, I wanted to record my multi movement symphony of cowbells – a brilliant work, btw, that features 71 players with different cowbells all playing as loudly as they can.
Hold on – let’s talk sound quality for a moment. What I’ve been doing is like telling you I just got laid and never once mentioning how beautiful and charming the girl was. Because when it comes to picking up girls – uh - working with software, easy is one thing – but quality - that inescapable desire to hit it over and over – is where the nectar is. And Sub has it. The kits are built from famous drummers the world over. These guys have slapped more skin than a bipolar foster parent with an empty beer fridge. These kits really, really sound great. Lots of samples per key. Easy to play, easy to make sound good – even if you lost half your digits in the wood chipper. Of the drummer packs that I have, by far the strength of Kit is in creating a realistic drummer vibe. But HipHop, drum machine, processed collections aren’t absent – just not as profuse. Kitcore’s real strength is real drumming.
I found a few patches (Ben Smith Oil, Alan White Brownesque) that I felt the kick drum was too low in volume compared to the snare. No big deal. I highlighted the kick pad, then in the “Pad Settings” raised the volume slider and I got the mix I wanted. I then changed kick drums but when I went back to one of those patches – Kit had kind of saved my settings. But it didn’t save it. Hold on, what if I change to another drum kit preset? Does Kitcore automatically change the one I just left? Yeah, it does. Now I fucked up my Alan White kit. Ahh, but if you reinstantiate Kitcore, Alan White is back! I talked to Sub about this and they had two ways of going and it makes sense. Say you are working on a HipHop track. You’ve picked the kit you love, now you want to hear all of their famous drummers play their licks with this kit. That’s the way KitCore works now and that’s the way most of us would work in real life. However when you first load it up and you’re just bouncing thru sounds, it was a little disconcerting to hear Matt Sorum’s big badass rock kit playing New Orleans style rhythms. If Sub did it the other way, where the original kit was loaded when you selected a groove, then you’d have to keep reloading your HipHop kit to hear it the way you want. I suggest Sub keep it the way it is and add a button that says something like “Load Original Kit Used On This Groove”. See? I just solved another one of the world’s problems - now onto corrupt Italian politics.
Each drum pad has Pan and Pitch as well – easy – right in front – the pitch is a nice feature and simple – I do wish “Option Click” reset the fader to the original pitch cuz it slows me down trying to get the slider exactly back on zero. The pitch has the word “original” that pops up when you get back to center – Vol and Pan do not – which led me to notice that panning is subtle in the presets. All of the samples are super high quality stereo 48k/24b files and Sub is leaving it up to you to get more extreme, dare I say risqué, in your panning if desired. I like a wide stereo image – just like my women - so I found that I was pushing the Pan sliders pretty far left and right – and because this is all about me - I wish Sub had set things up in a wider stereo placement as part of the preset – just to make my life easier – and then let me pull the cabassa more center if I wanted. All this pushing and pulling and pulling and pushing. I’ve got this weak, arthritic wrist thing going. My Mom warned me about going blind – but she never said I might not be able to thrust and tug on my sliders. Small gripe? Absolutely.
KC (cuz we’re BFFs now) has a thing called Live Drummer, which is a slider that brings some realistic feel into your lifeless midi grooves by subtly changing velocities on samples – this thing really works! No more messing with velocity on individual drum hits – I love this feature. The newer libraries with lots more layers on each drum work best. Now if only Sub made it for that Euphonium player that was in here last week! Talk about no feel, no emotion! I’m going back to bass trombone from here on out. I might have had some fun with the labeling of the slider though– you get only Off at one end, Default in the middle and Max on the right (with 100 variations in between) but how could they not have labeled these “Stiff Republican Robot Drummer With Nonexistent Feel” on one end and “Doped Up Groove Meister Most Likely Carrying Weed You Can Bogart From Him” on the other??
Groove Section (midi grooves) – this is too easy! Like hooking up with your sister (shout out to my Nashville friends – what’s up????!!!!!) Select either Drummer or Style. You can further filter by selecting Feel. That reminds me of the only good line in “Leatherheads” – Clooney says “You’re only as young as the women you feel.” You can also cut to the chase by going with Fills or Loops. Thank you Submersible for allowing me to search fills – all the fuckin fills (yeah, you hit ALL on the left, unclick LOOPS on the right and make sure you have selected FILLS and sure as mommy did the milkman, every fill in your Kitcore library is there.) Do I want more Fills? Always, but being able to list the fills and choose? Priceless. Why is it that every time I hear a drummer play all they do is fill, fill, fill. Then they make a drum loop library and there ain’t a fill to be found!
Attention Drum Loops Makers!!!! The fills are the hard things to create for us rhythmically challenged Neanderthals. Please add shitloads of fills to your libraries – better yet, release libraries of fills only.
Also! The ability to search for all fills should be required of all drum software makers under penalty of death! No even better – torture them first – then kill them.
Time to import your groove to your seq? Just drag either the name of the loop or the cool little midi graphic to your Seq – blam! AC/DC is on the phone.
KC has a cool window under the midi groove that displays original tempo, meter, duration and feel - this is where Sub could tell me which kit was originally used to create the groove - especially when it comes to Latin styles and quirky grooves where the right samples on the right pads is key to the sound. Yeah, I know a Latin groove with 808 samples is dope and “I’m a genius cuz I swapped out some drum sounds on a midi loop” – but if I want authentic Latin, I gotta keep bouncing around thru drums sets till I think I get the right one. And did I? Is Luis Conte gonna beat down my door when the timbale part is erroneously being played on the conga rim?
When you have both Kitcore and Drumcore installed, you have a choice of pointing to either data library. I have mine pointing to Drumcore. But if you do that, not all of the audio grooves in Drumcore exist as midi files and Kitcore only plays midi grooves. So if you open the folder from MPC Lockbox, there aren’t any midi grooves because none exist – which is stylistically weird since all the grooves are Hiphop/dance things. Also, my MPC Lockbox single drum hits won’t show up if I steer the Kitcore Data location to Kitcore and not Drumcore. This seems awkward and I feel like I would be missing some killer sounds by pointing my Kitcore to the wrong data. Granted, I imagine not many users own both Drumcore and Kitcore so they’d never notice it but still, it should be addressed. (Sub says they are going to put up a FAQ that explains how to incorporate the KitCore kits into the DrumCore database so you only have to have one Uber library going.) – Note to self: Can we get an editor in here to make sense of that paragraph? It was long-winded and confusing and started to sound like a typical review in a music magazine.
Which one should you get? If you absolutely love the audio only grooves that some of Sub’s drummers recorded, and you like to roll your own, i.e., load custom drum samples into DrumCore and make your own presets – you have to go with Drumcore. On the other hand, Kitcore is easier to use than Drumcore. The drums are plainly laid out, the controls you need are handy, it’s just right there at your fingertips, all on one page. Drumcore is a bit deeper but you get more. When you select a groove, you get all of the audio and all of the midi and all of the fills laid out before you. It seems quicker to get a full groove laid out for a song. But you also gotta open another window to change individual drum kit sounds. And with Drumcore you’re working in a stand alone program so you gotta keep switching back and forth and remembering to either turn on the Transport/Sync button to control your host and vice versa – or not. BTW, I found it disconcerting that when you load a kit in DrumCore, no sound is made the first time you hit the key. I had to gliss up and down to load all the samples so that I could play a groove. The default is that the sounds are not loaded until a midi event is sent to that pad. It saves on memory because you’re not loading a bunch of sounds you aren’t using. There is a setting in the DrumCore preferences to check that says “Preload drum kit on startup or select.” Personally, I don’t care about memory. I’ve lost most of mine thru careless, immature behavior so why should I give a damn about the memory on my MacPro? Sub is considering changing the default to loading all the drum sounds on select and I agree 100%. Coincidentally the same amount I think Obama should be President.
Since I have both Sub programs (visualize blatant boasting and displaying of large male genitalia) – I use Kit for my drums and midi grooves cuz it’s easy and I prefer plugins over standalone software. I use Drumcore for all of the audio grooves I can’t get in Kitcore plus I’m toying with creating a couple of custom kits.
Kitcore is my go to realistic drum sample program now. I’m even beginning to transition to using it on some dance tracks but I have to run it in multi out mode in order to get the separation for each drum (which usually has some kind of effect/processing going on).
For me, there’s always a fine balance between killer sounds and ease of use. I won’t touch anything that doesn’t sound great. And that includes female singers. But if an app is too difficult, I won’t use it. When you’re on a deadline or too drunk to screw, you don’t want demanding and complex. You want instant, straightforward satisfaction and no last names. Or cell numbers. Yes, you can buy drum software that comes with varying mic placements and effects and 1,000 options and 14,000 ways to waste your day. Or you can hire a real drummer. Submersible covers that middle ground where most of us work most of the time and does it really, really well.
Be sure and download their latest manual online since it has more info than the one on my install disk and check out the nicely done video tutorials at www.submersiblemusic.com.
Also, I’ve been told that Submersible will be releasing a new drummer pack from Stephen Perkins of Jane’s Addiction fame on November 25th. That will be sweet and rockin’.
The “If I Controlled The World” Section:
I wish dance/techno/rave/house/breakbeats were better represented but that might be in the works. I also believe -because of the effortless interface - film grooves – you know, cool, atmospheric, phased, filtered, odd drum grooves – would be extremely popular for Sub to release.
Showing posts with label Logic 8. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Logic 8. Show all posts
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
HEAVYOCITY - EVOLVE - Feel The EVOL
Got a lot of response from people about the OMNISPHERE blog I posted so I thought I would try and keep up with all the stuff I buy and use – talk about the stuff that works for me. Talk about things that will improve your life, make you a better man, help you better understand the intricacies of choosing a qualified running mate.
When it comes to learning a new interface, my level of patience is on a par with a pissed off Bill O’Reilly. I load the new software up and just start poking at it until something oozes out. Apparently I have time to write blogs but not fiddle with software or read manuals. Because of this unbecoming flaw, I like software well organized, easy to use, with simple interfaces, big buttons - things a monkey(or a tv composer) can use even if their faculties have been – uh, compromised.
So I loaded up Heavyocity’s EVOLVE (www.heavyocity.com) – and btw – I tried real hard to come with some clever pun on the title involving the word LOVE and EVOLVE but kept getting stuck on EVOL which I realize is love backwards but figured you’d rather hear about the product than me complaining about the “jumbled word syndrome” I’m seeing a doctor about.
Heard about the product from a composer friend who heard from other composers in LA who are using it and loving it. I figured I should rush out and get it so I could sound like everyone else in LA and land that next weight loss reality show gig. Fingers crossed! You gotta buy EVOLVE direct from the website - $400 – no street price –– Heavyocity tells me they have made a distribution deal and it will be in stores soon. (Translation: cheaper???)
EVOLVE runs in Kontakt 2 - so that’s easy. It’s made by composers who know what it takes to score 4,000 minutes of music in a day. It’s geared towards tv/film/game composers who like to be dramatic. Wishy washy, namby pamby, “I’ll just score this bandsaw decapitation scene with flute and harp” maestros need not apply. The website blurbs claim it works on dance remix material as well but it didn’t strike me that way on my first pass but I’ll give it a spin around the block on this techno record I’m doing and let you know how it turns out.
THE ONE SENTENCE REVIEW:
Great sounding hits, FX, weirdness, rhythmic and tonal sequences that are well organized, easy to find and well suited for dramatic scoring.
Should you get it? 99% Yes. The only people who might not need it is the few freaks who already own 20 other pieces of software like both Storm Drums, Omnisphere, Stylus RMX, both original Distorted Reality sample CDs, another 100 sample CDs, and a bunch of other weird shit – and these people have spent 6 long months pulling the best stuff off them and reorganizing them into an easy to use interface in categories that make sense, making sure all the looped material syncs correctly to your sequencer, all the levels are balanced, blah blah blah. If you’ve done that, you can probably live without EVOLVE. The rest of us will buy Evolve and spend our time writing music and making money.
EVOLVE isn’t a band in a box. Evolve is the cherry on top, the specialty freaky groove in the middle, the ominous on the bottom, the bitch slap when you need it. There are no strings, brass, or other typical bullshit. Evolve is meant to slip over the top of your usual instrumental genius - kind of like a musical condom - only this one has sharp creepy prongy things on it.
EVOLVE comes as instruments and multis – so I loaded a multi first cuz I’m lazy– they have descriptive names like Trailer Smash or Ghost Stories. I threw some keys down in Logic for each of the 8 parts and had a scary weird cue done in about 5 minutes. It didn’t have much pitch or melody but then again if you add this to your habitual cheesy string parts I think you’ve got yourself an Emmy nod. I then tried an experiment where I loaded a new multi and kept the exact same midi tracks and voila! Another scary weird cue done. I muted one part cuz it was just too weird but the rest of it wasn’t bad. Time for me to enlist my gardener writing cues! I tell ya, loading up one of their multis really gives you about all you’ll need to amp up your track. I like things that are quick, easy and make me feel good. That’s why I like beer and girls with big boobs.
LIBRARY CONTENTS:
Looped grooves tonal, rhythmic, weird: real nice stuff in here. Definitely usable. One groove per key so you can just keep adding keys until you run out of fingers. Want more intensity? Have more fingers sewn onto your hands – do I have to think up everything for you?
Don’t be fooled by names in the rhythmic grooves section that say things like Tambourines or Hand Percussion – these have all been effected and fucked with so they aren’t your grandpa’s perc (there are some traditional instruments in the “Traditional” folder but you already own all that stuff.)
Don’t look for traditional rock drum kits – the kits here are all high on acid. Look for the unique here not the mundane.
HITS – I like hits that make me rectally bleed. And the hits here are top notch. I had to double up on my Depends just to get thru them all. In fact, although I said there weren’t many trad instruments – there is a bass drum that is the best I’ve ever heard. Not that washy, tubby, boomy realistic, authentic sound – but a ballsy, slappy, belly fat slap sound you can really rattle the viewers with. Kind of like the big Remo tom on Storm Drum 2 only better!
METALS & CYMBALS – Heavyocity knocked this shit out of the park. I am so sick of regular cymbal whooshes I wish I couldn’t hear above 2k. A while ago, I went so far as to effect my own cymbals so I didn’t have to use the same old thing again. Well, Heavyocity did it here too only they did it better. Prepare yourself for soggy Levis my friends.
The Dumpster Scrapes are the Distorted Reality sounds for 2009. Updated, rougher, meaner. I mean these scrapes are from the streets! You can almost smell the decaying food and discarded hookers in the dumpster they sampled. Use these now or forever be branded boring.
ODD NOISE & BUILDUPS – lots of different ideas in here. Ignorance alert! And I fully admit I write music and not software – but since these are all one shots that whoosh up to a climax, why make me waste my time backtiming the effect to land in the right place when a bit of programming would release the climax part when I release the key? That would make me happy. And when I’m happy, I drink less – no, wait – maybe I drink more – whatever – the point is for a piece of software meant for composers, everything needs to be geared towards saving time.
BASSES – there are only a few so you should really rely on your old standbys not Evolve. The few they threw in have standouts like Gnarly Piano Gods and Nuclear Bass Strike. Those 2 patches made me think that I want a section called something like “Final Notes” – huge, cranium exploding single notes that you would use to accent a very dramatic moment – like THE END! I do things like those 2 patches all the time but it takes me 10 minutes to stack the 5 synths and samples to make it. Evolve needs more of them.
There are a couple of drone type things but they didn’t really rock my world. Again, they’re fine but you probably have something better somewhere else. And I have a nit to pick about any synth or sound design patch made by anyone out there. Why doesn’t every programmer make my mod wheel do something? It is so ingrained in me to play a pad, a drone, etc and reach for the mod wheel expecting something extra to happen. I don’t know why I do it because most of the time no one has assigned the controller to do anything. But still I keep on twiddling my wheel hoping for some hot action. Now Heavyocity has done a pretty good job of assigning the mod wheel on quite a few patches but it seemed to me that it missed some opportunities. I’m not talking something fancy – hell, resonance only would be fine – I know I could assign it myself – but that slows me down – and if 1,000 composers have to do the same thing then we’ve all wasted time – time that could have been better spent smoking weed and watching Soul Train.
Lots of strange and different sounds can be found throughout. I have no idea why there’s an unaffected Toy Xylophone in the library – kind of oddly normal for the rest of the collection but still it’s A REALLY NICE TOY XYLOPHONE. There’s a bunch of female opera licks – again, surprised me to find it but when you need a diva hitting the high notes – you’ll be glad they are there. There’s a Pads and FX section – limited but good quality (alas almost no mod wheel assigning). It won’t replace Omnisphere by any stretch but they aren’t trying to. A lot of the collection feels like these sounds were created throughout the careers of the composers behind the software and they’ve pulled the best of them together in this collection. Sure, it’s eclectic but if you’ve created a killer Toy Xylophone, why not spread the love?
Overall, Evolve covers a lot of ground for the dramatically hip. The action/energy grooves are really great, the single hits fantastic, and the scary/weird factor is covered extremely well. Evolve has become my defacto sound design generator. But don’t expect this collection to be the only thing you need to land that Oscar. So lay it on top of your VSL, EWQLSO or your trip hop didgeridoo collection and sit back and wait for that call from the Wachowski brothers.
When it comes to learning a new interface, my level of patience is on a par with a pissed off Bill O’Reilly. I load the new software up and just start poking at it until something oozes out. Apparently I have time to write blogs but not fiddle with software or read manuals. Because of this unbecoming flaw, I like software well organized, easy to use, with simple interfaces, big buttons - things a monkey(or a tv composer) can use even if their faculties have been – uh, compromised.
So I loaded up Heavyocity’s EVOLVE (www.heavyocity.com) – and btw – I tried real hard to come with some clever pun on the title involving the word LOVE and EVOLVE but kept getting stuck on EVOL which I realize is love backwards but figured you’d rather hear about the product than me complaining about the “jumbled word syndrome” I’m seeing a doctor about.
Heard about the product from a composer friend who heard from other composers in LA who are using it and loving it. I figured I should rush out and get it so I could sound like everyone else in LA and land that next weight loss reality show gig. Fingers crossed! You gotta buy EVOLVE direct from the website - $400 – no street price –– Heavyocity tells me they have made a distribution deal and it will be in stores soon. (Translation: cheaper???)
EVOLVE runs in Kontakt 2 - so that’s easy. It’s made by composers who know what it takes to score 4,000 minutes of music in a day. It’s geared towards tv/film/game composers who like to be dramatic. Wishy washy, namby pamby, “I’ll just score this bandsaw decapitation scene with flute and harp” maestros need not apply. The website blurbs claim it works on dance remix material as well but it didn’t strike me that way on my first pass but I’ll give it a spin around the block on this techno record I’m doing and let you know how it turns out.
THE ONE SENTENCE REVIEW:
Great sounding hits, FX, weirdness, rhythmic and tonal sequences that are well organized, easy to find and well suited for dramatic scoring.
Should you get it? 99% Yes. The only people who might not need it is the few freaks who already own 20 other pieces of software like both Storm Drums, Omnisphere, Stylus RMX, both original Distorted Reality sample CDs, another 100 sample CDs, and a bunch of other weird shit – and these people have spent 6 long months pulling the best stuff off them and reorganizing them into an easy to use interface in categories that make sense, making sure all the looped material syncs correctly to your sequencer, all the levels are balanced, blah blah blah. If you’ve done that, you can probably live without EVOLVE. The rest of us will buy Evolve and spend our time writing music and making money.
EVOLVE isn’t a band in a box. Evolve is the cherry on top, the specialty freaky groove in the middle, the ominous on the bottom, the bitch slap when you need it. There are no strings, brass, or other typical bullshit. Evolve is meant to slip over the top of your usual instrumental genius - kind of like a musical condom - only this one has sharp creepy prongy things on it.
EVOLVE comes as instruments and multis – so I loaded a multi first cuz I’m lazy– they have descriptive names like Trailer Smash or Ghost Stories. I threw some keys down in Logic for each of the 8 parts and had a scary weird cue done in about 5 minutes. It didn’t have much pitch or melody but then again if you add this to your habitual cheesy string parts I think you’ve got yourself an Emmy nod. I then tried an experiment where I loaded a new multi and kept the exact same midi tracks and voila! Another scary weird cue done. I muted one part cuz it was just too weird but the rest of it wasn’t bad. Time for me to enlist my gardener writing cues! I tell ya, loading up one of their multis really gives you about all you’ll need to amp up your track. I like things that are quick, easy and make me feel good. That’s why I like beer and girls with big boobs.
LIBRARY CONTENTS:
Looped grooves tonal, rhythmic, weird: real nice stuff in here. Definitely usable. One groove per key so you can just keep adding keys until you run out of fingers. Want more intensity? Have more fingers sewn onto your hands – do I have to think up everything for you?
Don’t be fooled by names in the rhythmic grooves section that say things like Tambourines or Hand Percussion – these have all been effected and fucked with so they aren’t your grandpa’s perc (there are some traditional instruments in the “Traditional” folder but you already own all that stuff.)
Don’t look for traditional rock drum kits – the kits here are all high on acid. Look for the unique here not the mundane.
HITS – I like hits that make me rectally bleed. And the hits here are top notch. I had to double up on my Depends just to get thru them all. In fact, although I said there weren’t many trad instruments – there is a bass drum that is the best I’ve ever heard. Not that washy, tubby, boomy realistic, authentic sound – but a ballsy, slappy, belly fat slap sound you can really rattle the viewers with. Kind of like the big Remo tom on Storm Drum 2 only better!
METALS & CYMBALS – Heavyocity knocked this shit out of the park. I am so sick of regular cymbal whooshes I wish I couldn’t hear above 2k. A while ago, I went so far as to effect my own cymbals so I didn’t have to use the same old thing again. Well, Heavyocity did it here too only they did it better. Prepare yourself for soggy Levis my friends.
The Dumpster Scrapes are the Distorted Reality sounds for 2009. Updated, rougher, meaner. I mean these scrapes are from the streets! You can almost smell the decaying food and discarded hookers in the dumpster they sampled. Use these now or forever be branded boring.
ODD NOISE & BUILDUPS – lots of different ideas in here. Ignorance alert! And I fully admit I write music and not software – but since these are all one shots that whoosh up to a climax, why make me waste my time backtiming the effect to land in the right place when a bit of programming would release the climax part when I release the key? That would make me happy. And when I’m happy, I drink less – no, wait – maybe I drink more – whatever – the point is for a piece of software meant for composers, everything needs to be geared towards saving time.
BASSES – there are only a few so you should really rely on your old standbys not Evolve. The few they threw in have standouts like Gnarly Piano Gods and Nuclear Bass Strike. Those 2 patches made me think that I want a section called something like “Final Notes” – huge, cranium exploding single notes that you would use to accent a very dramatic moment – like THE END! I do things like those 2 patches all the time but it takes me 10 minutes to stack the 5 synths and samples to make it. Evolve needs more of them.
There are a couple of drone type things but they didn’t really rock my world. Again, they’re fine but you probably have something better somewhere else. And I have a nit to pick about any synth or sound design patch made by anyone out there. Why doesn’t every programmer make my mod wheel do something? It is so ingrained in me to play a pad, a drone, etc and reach for the mod wheel expecting something extra to happen. I don’t know why I do it because most of the time no one has assigned the controller to do anything. But still I keep on twiddling my wheel hoping for some hot action. Now Heavyocity has done a pretty good job of assigning the mod wheel on quite a few patches but it seemed to me that it missed some opportunities. I’m not talking something fancy – hell, resonance only would be fine – I know I could assign it myself – but that slows me down – and if 1,000 composers have to do the same thing then we’ve all wasted time – time that could have been better spent smoking weed and watching Soul Train.
Lots of strange and different sounds can be found throughout. I have no idea why there’s an unaffected Toy Xylophone in the library – kind of oddly normal for the rest of the collection but still it’s A REALLY NICE TOY XYLOPHONE. There’s a bunch of female opera licks – again, surprised me to find it but when you need a diva hitting the high notes – you’ll be glad they are there. There’s a Pads and FX section – limited but good quality (alas almost no mod wheel assigning). It won’t replace Omnisphere by any stretch but they aren’t trying to. A lot of the collection feels like these sounds were created throughout the careers of the composers behind the software and they’ve pulled the best of them together in this collection. Sure, it’s eclectic but if you’ve created a killer Toy Xylophone, why not spread the love?
Overall, Evolve covers a lot of ground for the dramatically hip. The action/energy grooves are really great, the single hits fantastic, and the scary/weird factor is covered extremely well. Evolve has become my defacto sound design generator. But don’t expect this collection to be the only thing you need to land that Oscar. So lay it on top of your VSL, EWQLSO or your trip hop didgeridoo collection and sit back and wait for that call from the Wachowski brothers.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
OMNISPHERE THE OMNIFICENT
Any monkey can now do your job! Hire one immediately!
OMNISPHERE – the new synth from Eric Persing with the name that makes my mouth feel like I’ve been eating peanut butter straight out of the jar – without milk.
The one line review – it’s a badass Atmosphere that is modernized, tweaked and all jacked up on coffee, crack and crazy good.
Composers making a great living holding down one key will have a field day with this thing. I wrote 17 cues while I was just testing it out! Sure, all of our cues will sound basically the same but the first to get paid - wins!!!!
I guess the closet comparison to Omnisphere would be the incredible Rob Papen stuff. Predator, Albino and Blue. Those lean a bit more towards pop/club/dance styles (I still use them constantly on scoring gigs but they work extremely well on records too.) Omnisphere seems to lean more towards scoring gigs but I can easily see myself using it on some records. Eric obviously steers his products towards this elaborate multi layered sound – and thank God he does cuz it makes all our lives a lot easier. On the other hand, the majority of records to my ear, use much simpler vintage synth sounds. You could make Omnisphere do that – but it would be like taking a Maserati and putting a Prius engine in it.
Suffice to say that if you ever plan on scoring anything – Omnisphere is the one synth to own.
I soiled myself multiple times just bouncing thru the presets. There are lots of very useful arpeggiator patches – lots of ambient things, lots of weirdness – even some hits and bangs and FX. It’s a one-stop shop for drama and creating moods that sound super super pro – and it’s all at the touch of a key! No talent required. The only decision you will have to make is which key to hold down and hold long you hold it! You never thought a monkey could do your job – but now they can! Better yet, hire some kids - pay them like $1 a cue - put one in each room with an Omnisphere and run your own musical sweat shop! Hey wait a minute – I already have that job! I write for TV!
Damn Eric and his team of evil geniuses! Load up 4, 5 or 6 elaborate patches in the multitimbral Stylus RMX-like interface, and within seconds it sounds like you’re a soundscape genius. Coming from a world where tv and film producers rave about the talent of a composer who has strung together some Apple loops – the heaps of praise for composers who use Ominsphere – will be – gosh, making us all blush. (I’m still waiting for the day when someone wins an Academy Award for holding down one note.)
I suggest all of you Ominsphere users – and trust me – all of you WILL be users – write a letter to Eric and thank him for making you appear more talented than you really are. Thank him for allowing those of limited work ethic to finish their cues quickly, allowing you to get to bed earlier. Thank him for the many accolades you will undoubtedly receive in an otherwise cruel and brutal musical world.
Maybe write something like my letter.
Dear Eric:
Thank you for Omnisphere. I apologize in advance for all of the credit I will be taking for your sonic genius. Even though I will be the one cashing the checks, I want you to know that I think of you every time I hold C3 and some big Hollywood producer tells me how talented I am. Gotta run now, its 9:30 am and I’ve already finished the 30 minutes of music I had to write today. Off to the beach!
Your friend,
Scooter
OMNISPHERE – the new synth from Eric Persing with the name that makes my mouth feel like I’ve been eating peanut butter straight out of the jar – without milk.
The one line review – it’s a badass Atmosphere that is modernized, tweaked and all jacked up on coffee, crack and crazy good.
Composers making a great living holding down one key will have a field day with this thing. I wrote 17 cues while I was just testing it out! Sure, all of our cues will sound basically the same but the first to get paid - wins!!!!
I guess the closet comparison to Omnisphere would be the incredible Rob Papen stuff. Predator, Albino and Blue. Those lean a bit more towards pop/club/dance styles (I still use them constantly on scoring gigs but they work extremely well on records too.) Omnisphere seems to lean more towards scoring gigs but I can easily see myself using it on some records. Eric obviously steers his products towards this elaborate multi layered sound – and thank God he does cuz it makes all our lives a lot easier. On the other hand, the majority of records to my ear, use much simpler vintage synth sounds. You could make Omnisphere do that – but it would be like taking a Maserati and putting a Prius engine in it.
Suffice to say that if you ever plan on scoring anything – Omnisphere is the one synth to own.
I soiled myself multiple times just bouncing thru the presets. There are lots of very useful arpeggiator patches – lots of ambient things, lots of weirdness – even some hits and bangs and FX. It’s a one-stop shop for drama and creating moods that sound super super pro – and it’s all at the touch of a key! No talent required. The only decision you will have to make is which key to hold down and hold long you hold it! You never thought a monkey could do your job – but now they can! Better yet, hire some kids - pay them like $1 a cue - put one in each room with an Omnisphere and run your own musical sweat shop! Hey wait a minute – I already have that job! I write for TV!
Damn Eric and his team of evil geniuses! Load up 4, 5 or 6 elaborate patches in the multitimbral Stylus RMX-like interface, and within seconds it sounds like you’re a soundscape genius. Coming from a world where tv and film producers rave about the talent of a composer who has strung together some Apple loops – the heaps of praise for composers who use Ominsphere – will be – gosh, making us all blush. (I’m still waiting for the day when someone wins an Academy Award for holding down one note.)
I suggest all of you Ominsphere users – and trust me – all of you WILL be users – write a letter to Eric and thank him for making you appear more talented than you really are. Thank him for allowing those of limited work ethic to finish their cues quickly, allowing you to get to bed earlier. Thank him for the many accolades you will undoubtedly receive in an otherwise cruel and brutal musical world.
Maybe write something like my letter.
Dear Eric:
Thank you for Omnisphere. I apologize in advance for all of the credit I will be taking for your sonic genius. Even though I will be the one cashing the checks, I want you to know that I think of you every time I hold C3 and some big Hollywood producer tells me how talented I am. Gotta run now, its 9:30 am and I’ve already finished the 30 minutes of music I had to write today. Off to the beach!
Your friend,
Scooter
Thursday, November 15, 2007
20 YEAR VETERAN GEAR SLUT SELLS EVERYTHING; STATUS DEMOTED TO JUST SLUT
Wife On All Time Euphoric High As Chronic Compulsive Knob-Turner Directs Bored Fingers Towards Her
You read it right. I’m done. I just force quit a life long passion. An obsession. My quest of owning every single piece of cool music gear ever made is done. Blasphemer! The end is near! (perfect timing since the end of the music business is here too – cool!) But, really, I think it’s just the beginning. Who woulda thought there’s a life to be lived out there? A world full of wonder. A world without a room full of musical equipment. The search for the Holy Grail is over.
Not that the Holy Grail has been found, mind you, just that I’ve stopped looking for it.
I’ve stopped flipping through Keyboard, Remix and Electronic Musician magazines like a 16 year old with a Playboy and a chubby. Yes, the articles are still informative. The reviews a must. But that craving, that drooling stare at all those gorgeous spreads of sexy new gear? They are nothing to me now. I’m above it all – like a drummer who can read music. I’ve sold all my gear. Not most of it. All of it. It sounds like I quit the music business. I didn’t. I downsized. I cleaned house. And I’m a richer($) man for it. (snort, hike up britches.)
A month or two back, I actually stopped writing music. Took stock, assessed and analyzed my work method in the studio. A full day just for that. I noted how much I used different pieces of gear. I wrote down how often I repeated certain tasks. I contemplated a world without so many buttons, knobs, switches and keys. A simpler life. A life as head music Quaker in LA.
As composers and musicians, we are on the brink of a new age. The time has come to break our chains. We are free! I say to you, rise up. Unburden yourself from unused gear and over abundance. I did it. And now I have more time for the important things in life - family, friends, socially responsible drinking.
Is it scary? Even more than that 10 Day Thai Sex Travel Tour you booked yourself on.
Are our collective dick sizes (girls graciously included here) tied to how much gear we have? Only from our own skewed personal perspective.
Should our talent be measured by our latest and greatest finance-threatening acquisition? Be brave – don’t fall into that trap.
Does it go against everything you’ve been taught as a cutting edge musician? Stabs it in the heart. Dead.
Does it make those pictures of Keith Emerson in front of a thousand keyboards kind of silly? No. Well, kind of. Those pics document another age. Another time when abundance and complexity were the norm. It’s called THE PAST. Today, we can be leaner and meaner. It is time to be the Lara Flynn Boyle of music.
Instead of looking at it as “what I have to lose” we must think of it as “what I have to gain.” And that, is FREEDOM!
Kick The Shit Out 101:
Took stock of the synths I had. Rolands, Korgs, Yamahas, Nords, Emus. Yes, each in their own right has served me well over the years. There are killer sounds on each and every one of them, but as I noted how often and for what purpose I was using these, I realized it wasn’t much as I’d thought. I ordered some new soft synths to cover those; Arturia’s Jupiter-8V, FabFilter’s Twin, all of the Rob Papen stuff, the Native Instruments bundle. (Complaint Alert!™ – why isn’t every great classic synth a plugin already? I’ll buy ‘em all! Here I stand cash in hand, waiting, wondering . . . ) Hey – I need some advice, should I drop $2500 for the newest hardware synth or buy 12 plugin synths for the same amount?
Added Bonus Alert™ - I was also able to hurl my four (4) midi interfaces (i.e. doorstops).
Next, my beloved Yamaha 02R96 mixer. Impeccable design. Easy to use. Handles every format under the sun. When we’d switch from Protools at 96k back to my normal 24bit 44.1 working mode – it was literally a push of the button. But again, when I noticed how much I was actually utilizing its incredible features – nada. I was already moving towards “mixing in the box” and hadn’t accepted it. Toss it. Because it’s like the rule in your closet – if you haven’t worn it in over a year, you’re not going to wear it (that doesn’t mean the leather pants. Because if you even claim to be in the music business you better have a pair hanging in there or you’re just a poser. And preferably they should be 2 sizes too small – you know, the size you USED to wear. The size you swear you will wear again as soon as you figure out a way to quit that Popeye’s dependence.) And what about that big ol’ Mackie Midi Controller? Chuck it. One word. Faderport. Or AlphaTrack. Or Goatse. Why do I need 8 faders? If I’m controlling all of my BG vox, I’ve already bussed them to a single fader in Logic. Now I control them with my middle finger on my only fader. (Please note aggressive physical insult thrown towards all manufacturers of multi fader midi controller systems. In your face!)
Next up – cutting the dark side completely from my life. I don’t mean Scientology. I mean I had a rack of 6 PCs running a variety of things from Gigastudio to Kontakt 2 to Forte running various VST plugins. Again, I found, at most I was using only one or two of these at a time. My new “Titanium Testicle” Mac Pro 8 core can handle that! Fuck Microsoft - again! Had them taken away - like Britney’s children.
I barreled on like a spring cleaning suburban mom amped up on prescription meds.
Video playback. WTF. DVD. DAT. VHS. Video switcher between all this caveman shit. My Canopus box. Now with each job, I tell them “Quicktime” – that’s it – no other choice. And they do it. Because I said so. Or I asked politely. 42” Plasma TV - Poof! – I bought two 30” Mac monitors.
Cassette (sure, I still had one - in case by brother showed up with that Honk “Five Summer Stories” soundtrack and we wanted to reminisce over some medical cannabis.) CD Player – why?
And suddenly, it all began to snowball. Multiple Big Ben word clocks – don’t need ‘em. Blackburst generator – unnecessary. Computer monitor switcher for all those damn PCs – Can you spell Goodwill donation and exaggerated tax write off??!!!
Furman patchbays! I was tired of shaving them every week. Ewww! Cables? How 2006! Cabling of every type and description on the planet running the perimeter of the studio. Hundreds of feet of this shit – vanished.
In addition to Protools I was running a MOTU 2408. Finished! What was I thinking with all this stuff?
I bought big “Hungry Man” size drives for the computer. Got rid of all those small “Fun Size” ones I was collecting over the years.
And I stood there looking at a near empty machine room. A lonely Apogee Rosetta 800, Furman Power Conditioner (with five o’clock shadow) and my Mac Pro. Oh, and my beloved Neve mic pres. And instead of feeling like the boy with the smallest dick in the locker room, I felt liberated. I felt comforted.
First Glaring Conundrum™ - whether I should put a stripper pole or a wine rack in the rest of the machine room. Vote online now!
I started working. Yes, there were some moments of pause where I sat there and said “OK, I used to do it this way, I need to find a new way.” And I did. And it all felt rather new and different. Fresh and exciting, if I may be so bold as to quote Kool & The Gang. (BTW™, is that bass part loud enough in that mix or what!!!???) The whole writing experience seemed, well, actually more about writing than technology. I got a call the following day about some changes the producer (wanker) wanted to the music I had written (already perfect). I toweled off from the pool, and opened the sequence – WHAM! – it was up in seconds. My old setup template took FOREVER! to load. All that extraneous bullshit needed to make all that extraneous bullshit work = sit around with thumb up ass. I hit play on the keyboard – and I’ll be damned. It sounded exactly like it did yesterday. I don’t know about you, but in my previous setup when I brought a mix back up it sounded “kinda” like it did before. There’s no instant recall when you have 15 other sound sources going through 3 other devices in addition to the rumored “total recall” elements in your computer. I would have had to spend valuable drinking time, tweaking the mix to get it right and then making the changes. This time, I muted the unwanted (although very hip and really, quite musical Autotuned chainsaw & trombone duet) sound the producer “hated.” Hit “Bounce” and in 90 seconds was emailing the revised cue back to them and heading back to the pool where 3 supermodels with margaritas awaited me and my thong.
This never would have happened in my old, archaic, complicated, clusterfuck™ system. There’s a rule, it’s not Murphy’s but some other Irish dude’s, and it says “The more shit you have, the more shit breaks.” I might be paraphrasing. And shit did break – or kinda not work – or got a buzz in it – or wouldn’t read midi today – or – or – or. And I would waste time. I would stop writing. I would don my NTGH (Nerdy Tech Guy Hat™) and attempt to fix it. I was convinced I couldn’t live without this piece of gear. When it got bad, I gave up and called in a tech guy who wears a VSNTGH (Very Special Nerdy Tech Guy Hat™). I shit money into a bucket for him while he tried to solve said problem. And I wasn’t writing.
I sold all of my gear. Got lots of money for it. Enough money that I could have bought another complete system like mine and had it standing by – just in case my main system blew up. Fortunately, I was smart enough to invest it all in hookers and blow. C’mon, we’re in the music business – who needs a savings account? I’m gonna write a hit! Like Hey Jude or some catchy shit like that.
Now there’s nothing short of an infuriatingly itchy STD or a massive earthquake that can keep me from working.
OK, I’ll admit, if you took the guitars and my keyboard controller out of the studio, my new setup looks like I do graphics for a living. And we all know how much graphic designers don’t get laid. Who cares? When I sit here, it feels like this system is all about the music. The notes. The sound. It ain’t about mixed marriages of PC/Mac, or Protools/Logic, or Midi/LAN/Word Clock/Lightpipe group sex animosity.
This is the future and it’s yours. Sell your shit. You don’t need it. From now on, the only things I will buy are new plugins and a new Mac. Oh, and tequila. My yearly expenditure on gear probably dropped 90%. Think of it as a pay raise.
Go forth and write – and give yourself a pay raise.
P.S.
Helpful Tip Alert!™ ™ symbol created with Option 2 – cool! Use it often and for no apparent reason.
You read it right. I’m done. I just force quit a life long passion. An obsession. My quest of owning every single piece of cool music gear ever made is done. Blasphemer! The end is near! (perfect timing since the end of the music business is here too – cool!) But, really, I think it’s just the beginning. Who woulda thought there’s a life to be lived out there? A world full of wonder. A world without a room full of musical equipment. The search for the Holy Grail is over.
Not that the Holy Grail has been found, mind you, just that I’ve stopped looking for it.
I’ve stopped flipping through Keyboard, Remix and Electronic Musician magazines like a 16 year old with a Playboy and a chubby. Yes, the articles are still informative. The reviews a must. But that craving, that drooling stare at all those gorgeous spreads of sexy new gear? They are nothing to me now. I’m above it all – like a drummer who can read music. I’ve sold all my gear. Not most of it. All of it. It sounds like I quit the music business. I didn’t. I downsized. I cleaned house. And I’m a richer($) man for it. (snort, hike up britches.)
A month or two back, I actually stopped writing music. Took stock, assessed and analyzed my work method in the studio. A full day just for that. I noted how much I used different pieces of gear. I wrote down how often I repeated certain tasks. I contemplated a world without so many buttons, knobs, switches and keys. A simpler life. A life as head music Quaker in LA.
As composers and musicians, we are on the brink of a new age. The time has come to break our chains. We are free! I say to you, rise up. Unburden yourself from unused gear and over abundance. I did it. And now I have more time for the important things in life - family, friends, socially responsible drinking.
Is it scary? Even more than that 10 Day Thai Sex Travel Tour you booked yourself on.
Are our collective dick sizes (girls graciously included here) tied to how much gear we have? Only from our own skewed personal perspective.
Should our talent be measured by our latest and greatest finance-threatening acquisition? Be brave – don’t fall into that trap.
Does it go against everything you’ve been taught as a cutting edge musician? Stabs it in the heart. Dead.
Does it make those pictures of Keith Emerson in front of a thousand keyboards kind of silly? No. Well, kind of. Those pics document another age. Another time when abundance and complexity were the norm. It’s called THE PAST. Today, we can be leaner and meaner. It is time to be the Lara Flynn Boyle of music.
Instead of looking at it as “what I have to lose” we must think of it as “what I have to gain.” And that, is FREEDOM!
Kick The Shit Out 101:
Took stock of the synths I had. Rolands, Korgs, Yamahas, Nords, Emus. Yes, each in their own right has served me well over the years. There are killer sounds on each and every one of them, but as I noted how often and for what purpose I was using these, I realized it wasn’t much as I’d thought. I ordered some new soft synths to cover those; Arturia’s Jupiter-8V, FabFilter’s Twin, all of the Rob Papen stuff, the Native Instruments bundle. (Complaint Alert!™ – why isn’t every great classic synth a plugin already? I’ll buy ‘em all! Here I stand cash in hand, waiting, wondering . . . ) Hey – I need some advice, should I drop $2500 for the newest hardware synth or buy 12 plugin synths for the same amount?
Added Bonus Alert™ - I was also able to hurl my four (4) midi interfaces (i.e. doorstops).
Next, my beloved Yamaha 02R96 mixer. Impeccable design. Easy to use. Handles every format under the sun. When we’d switch from Protools at 96k back to my normal 24bit 44.1 working mode – it was literally a push of the button. But again, when I noticed how much I was actually utilizing its incredible features – nada. I was already moving towards “mixing in the box” and hadn’t accepted it. Toss it. Because it’s like the rule in your closet – if you haven’t worn it in over a year, you’re not going to wear it (that doesn’t mean the leather pants. Because if you even claim to be in the music business you better have a pair hanging in there or you’re just a poser. And preferably they should be 2 sizes too small – you know, the size you USED to wear. The size you swear you will wear again as soon as you figure out a way to quit that Popeye’s dependence.) And what about that big ol’ Mackie Midi Controller? Chuck it. One word. Faderport. Or AlphaTrack. Or Goatse. Why do I need 8 faders? If I’m controlling all of my BG vox, I’ve already bussed them to a single fader in Logic. Now I control them with my middle finger on my only fader. (Please note aggressive physical insult thrown towards all manufacturers of multi fader midi controller systems. In your face!)
Next up – cutting the dark side completely from my life. I don’t mean Scientology. I mean I had a rack of 6 PCs running a variety of things from Gigastudio to Kontakt 2 to Forte running various VST plugins. Again, I found, at most I was using only one or two of these at a time. My new “Titanium Testicle” Mac Pro 8 core can handle that! Fuck Microsoft - again! Had them taken away - like Britney’s children.
I barreled on like a spring cleaning suburban mom amped up on prescription meds.
Video playback. WTF. DVD. DAT. VHS. Video switcher between all this caveman shit. My Canopus box. Now with each job, I tell them “Quicktime” – that’s it – no other choice. And they do it. Because I said so. Or I asked politely. 42” Plasma TV - Poof! – I bought two 30” Mac monitors.
Cassette (sure, I still had one - in case by brother showed up with that Honk “Five Summer Stories” soundtrack and we wanted to reminisce over some medical cannabis.) CD Player – why?
And suddenly, it all began to snowball. Multiple Big Ben word clocks – don’t need ‘em. Blackburst generator – unnecessary. Computer monitor switcher for all those damn PCs – Can you spell Goodwill donation and exaggerated tax write off??!!!
Furman patchbays! I was tired of shaving them every week. Ewww! Cables? How 2006! Cabling of every type and description on the planet running the perimeter of the studio. Hundreds of feet of this shit – vanished.
In addition to Protools I was running a MOTU 2408. Finished! What was I thinking with all this stuff?
I bought big “Hungry Man” size drives for the computer. Got rid of all those small “Fun Size” ones I was collecting over the years.
And I stood there looking at a near empty machine room. A lonely Apogee Rosetta 800, Furman Power Conditioner (with five o’clock shadow) and my Mac Pro. Oh, and my beloved Neve mic pres. And instead of feeling like the boy with the smallest dick in the locker room, I felt liberated. I felt comforted.
First Glaring Conundrum™ - whether I should put a stripper pole or a wine rack in the rest of the machine room. Vote online now!
I started working. Yes, there were some moments of pause where I sat there and said “OK, I used to do it this way, I need to find a new way.” And I did. And it all felt rather new and different. Fresh and exciting, if I may be so bold as to quote Kool & The Gang. (BTW™, is that bass part loud enough in that mix or what!!!???) The whole writing experience seemed, well, actually more about writing than technology. I got a call the following day about some changes the producer (wanker) wanted to the music I had written (already perfect). I toweled off from the pool, and opened the sequence – WHAM! – it was up in seconds. My old setup template took FOREVER! to load. All that extraneous bullshit needed to make all that extraneous bullshit work = sit around with thumb up ass. I hit play on the keyboard – and I’ll be damned. It sounded exactly like it did yesterday. I don’t know about you, but in my previous setup when I brought a mix back up it sounded “kinda” like it did before. There’s no instant recall when you have 15 other sound sources going through 3 other devices in addition to the rumored “total recall” elements in your computer. I would have had to spend valuable drinking time, tweaking the mix to get it right and then making the changes. This time, I muted the unwanted (although very hip and really, quite musical Autotuned chainsaw & trombone duet) sound the producer “hated.” Hit “Bounce” and in 90 seconds was emailing the revised cue back to them and heading back to the pool where 3 supermodels with margaritas awaited me and my thong.
This never would have happened in my old, archaic, complicated, clusterfuck™ system. There’s a rule, it’s not Murphy’s but some other Irish dude’s, and it says “The more shit you have, the more shit breaks.” I might be paraphrasing. And shit did break – or kinda not work – or got a buzz in it – or wouldn’t read midi today – or – or – or. And I would waste time. I would stop writing. I would don my NTGH (Nerdy Tech Guy Hat™) and attempt to fix it. I was convinced I couldn’t live without this piece of gear. When it got bad, I gave up and called in a tech guy who wears a VSNTGH (Very Special Nerdy Tech Guy Hat™). I shit money into a bucket for him while he tried to solve said problem. And I wasn’t writing.
I sold all of my gear. Got lots of money for it. Enough money that I could have bought another complete system like mine and had it standing by – just in case my main system blew up. Fortunately, I was smart enough to invest it all in hookers and blow. C’mon, we’re in the music business – who needs a savings account? I’m gonna write a hit! Like Hey Jude or some catchy shit like that.
Now there’s nothing short of an infuriatingly itchy STD or a massive earthquake that can keep me from working.
OK, I’ll admit, if you took the guitars and my keyboard controller out of the studio, my new setup looks like I do graphics for a living. And we all know how much graphic designers don’t get laid. Who cares? When I sit here, it feels like this system is all about the music. The notes. The sound. It ain’t about mixed marriages of PC/Mac, or Protools/Logic, or Midi/LAN/Word Clock/Lightpipe group sex animosity.
This is the future and it’s yours. Sell your shit. You don’t need it. From now on, the only things I will buy are new plugins and a new Mac. Oh, and tequila. My yearly expenditure on gear probably dropped 90%. Think of it as a pay raise.
Go forth and write – and give yourself a pay raise.
P.S.
Helpful Tip Alert!™ ™ symbol created with Option 2 – cool! Use it often and for no apparent reason.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
A Kinky Threesome Ends Amid Name Calling, Tears And No Regrets
A long, long time ago, I thought I had it all. I was shacked up with two of the hottest songbirds on the market. Oh man, was it good. The three of us tangled up together, unable to tell where one started and the other began. Late nights pouring our hearts and souls out. Exploring every nook and cranny. Pushing our limits. Day after day, night after night. I diddled and experimented with them till I was spent. I felt like a sheik with his harem. There was nothing these high price gals wouldn’t do. I broke every rule, bent every cable, and they loved me for it. All of it without so much as a safe word. Exciting. Dangerous. Potentially deadly.
Everybody wanted what I had. Only a chosen few were unlucky enough to get it. You see, I would love to paint a rosy picture consisting solely of kinky authorization sessions and blissful musical climaxes together, but, alas, it was not to be so. There were issues. Serious issues. Who was I to think you could put two sexy, top-of-the-line supermodels in the same room and expect them to play well together? Sultry vixens can be vicious. First, one would sulk and threaten to never put out again. Then the other would act up intermittently, leaving me unsure of actually pulling off yet another tonally satisfying intercourse. And here’s why.
There’s something fundamentally different in their coding, man. Avid and Apple hate each other. Sure, on the surface they try and make it look like everything is hunky-dory but deep down, oh, these guys hate each other. Like drummers used to hate LinnDrum machines. An ugly, vindictive hate.
As their bickering and fighting increased over the years, I became less and less willing to coax them back together. The results of these “reconciliations” were less than optimal. At one low point, when I just couldn’t take it anymore, I screamed at them. Called them dirty, foul, disgusting names. I’m not proud of it. I threatened to throw them out. Kick both of these harlots to the curb. Yes, it was partially my fault. I had stupidly brought home the latest in computer porn, Apple OS X. What was I thinking? I knew they’d get pissed. I knew they’d lock me out of the studio, make me sleep on the Korg Workstation in order to deliver. Pure chaos. Their petty arguing and posturing had pushed me to my limit. I couldn’t take it anymore. It took multiple counseling sessions with studio tech extraordinaire Bob Rice and a couple of thousand bucks but we kissed and made up.
But it was never the same. People hold grudges. Some people just don’t like forgiving past indiscretions. Sure enough, only six months later, all hell broke loose. This was back when BT, another delusional composer like me, hell bent on trying to pull off this musical ménage a trios, said in Keyboard Magazine that he’d fly cross the country and pay more than top dollar for someone’s Protools/Logic rig on the spot if anyone had one running that wouldn’t crash. No one ever took him up on it! Crash after crash after kernel panic after kernel panic. I contemplated taking a hammer and mutilating their pristine interfaces. It was beyond frustrating. It was a million miles beyond unbelievably unfucking unbearable.
One night, the three of us were alone in the studio. We’d had a couple so we were getting along. I was using my best moves. I was being gentle. I was being careful not to offend. I did nothing that could have been remotely construed as in appropriate or “out of the social norm.” And wham! Ms. Princess Protools decides she’s not going to let uppity little Miss Logic slut recognize her hard body badunkadunk hardware anymore. “You can look at me right here in the equipment rack, bitch, but I will NOT permit your copyright-protected protocol attempts at greasy digital access to penetrate my most private of areas!” And with that came a grinding halt to my income stream. Late night calls to tech support, technicians, friends and even Jesus himself (albeit “in vain” at points), could not rectify what had become the beginning of the end of a very tumultuous relationship.
What a sucker I am. I cried for a couple of days. Took long hot showers curled up in a ball on the tiled floor. Buckets of tears later, I turned all of the gear back on again. It worked. And so I struggled through. Again. I dealt with it. Again. For another couple of years. It was tough going most of the time. Occasionally, I was painfully prick teased by the system running without incident for hours, even half days, at a time. There were moments of karmic harmonic bliss. Fleeting moments when I felt the nectar of technology couldn’t taste any sweeter. But undoubtedly, whenever the job was on the line, whenever it was the absolute worst time for the shit to overflow, I was swimming in it.
A couple of months ago, I decided I’d had enough. I wanted peace and harmony in my studio. I wanted to put away the chainsaws and light some damn candles. I wanted to use software that likes each other. Software that gets along. Can’t we all just get along? I was forced to choose. I was given an ultimatum. Backed into a corner. Bitch slapped into the reality that these companies do not care one fuck about the greater good of music. Do not care for one brief second about creating a situation that allows a composer to create at the top of his or her game. They insist you pick one of them. They insist you choose. It’s like pre-midi days when several manufactures were reluctant to allow other synths to violently penetrate their sacred ports. And what happened to them when they finally opened their manufactured legs? They sold more shit than ever before. Because it allowed all of us to do what we do unencumbered by their need to dominate.
No, it wasn’t entirely Ms. Protools fault. I love her dearly. She’s a smooth running, sweet singing hussy. The dictatorship of Emperor Steve of the kingdom of Apple aren’t 100% to blame either. They both make great tools. But they’re both playing the same cruel game on the side. Each one of them wants to rule the world and will suffer no competitors. Kill or be killed. I’ve got the scars to prove it.
I had to choose. Do you marry for sex or brains? Money or love? Complicated as fuck environment setup or plugins that cost 3 times more than the other formats? With the switch to Intel chips and Leopard, I could see into my troubled future and knew I had to pull the plug on one of them.
I went with Uncle Steve. The Big Apple. Current ruler of music. I had to. For Christ’s sake, I’ve been married to Logic longer than my wife! Protools will live a long and healthy life without me. They are the de facto standard. I just don’t need them right now everyday of the week. I’ve got an Mbox sitting on a shelf here so I can deliver in PT when necessary.
So now I’m running the Apogee Symphony, only using Audio Unit plugs. I added more packages like the Sonnox Oxford suite of things to cover stuff I really missed from PT. Yes, I miss Impact but Inflator does some serious signal boosting damage. Yes, I had to wait until the brilliant SoundToys effects were available in AU. Since I’m on an Intel Mac now, I’m forced to get by without Spectrasonics Trilogy and Atmosphere but how the hell long am I suppose to honor our marriage vows and not fool around on the side? Hey Eric! WTF? I’m sorry but I got a little tipsy a few times, got a little randy and loaded up some other developer’s pads (like the amazing Rob Papen synths) - I didn’t want to but you said you’d meet me at the bar later for a drink and some updated plugins but you never showed and I had to get this thing done, and well . . . Marriages have been ruined for less!
I’m happy now. Things run smoothly. My life is simpler. I download lots of pictures of kitty cats and pretty flowers.
Do I miss the wild and debauched times? The “hanging from the rafters” crazy out of my mind nights? That feeling building inside you that makes you realize you’re capable of destroying $30,000 worth of gear in a rage and not care?
Now, when my wife tucks me into bed at night, I have a smile on my face. I didn’t crash today. Not once. And that, my friends, to my ears, is beautiful music.
SP
Everybody wanted what I had. Only a chosen few were unlucky enough to get it. You see, I would love to paint a rosy picture consisting solely of kinky authorization sessions and blissful musical climaxes together, but, alas, it was not to be so. There were issues. Serious issues. Who was I to think you could put two sexy, top-of-the-line supermodels in the same room and expect them to play well together? Sultry vixens can be vicious. First, one would sulk and threaten to never put out again. Then the other would act up intermittently, leaving me unsure of actually pulling off yet another tonally satisfying intercourse. And here’s why.
There’s something fundamentally different in their coding, man. Avid and Apple hate each other. Sure, on the surface they try and make it look like everything is hunky-dory but deep down, oh, these guys hate each other. Like drummers used to hate LinnDrum machines. An ugly, vindictive hate.
As their bickering and fighting increased over the years, I became less and less willing to coax them back together. The results of these “reconciliations” were less than optimal. At one low point, when I just couldn’t take it anymore, I screamed at them. Called them dirty, foul, disgusting names. I’m not proud of it. I threatened to throw them out. Kick both of these harlots to the curb. Yes, it was partially my fault. I had stupidly brought home the latest in computer porn, Apple OS X. What was I thinking? I knew they’d get pissed. I knew they’d lock me out of the studio, make me sleep on the Korg Workstation in order to deliver. Pure chaos. Their petty arguing and posturing had pushed me to my limit. I couldn’t take it anymore. It took multiple counseling sessions with studio tech extraordinaire Bob Rice and a couple of thousand bucks but we kissed and made up.
But it was never the same. People hold grudges. Some people just don’t like forgiving past indiscretions. Sure enough, only six months later, all hell broke loose. This was back when BT, another delusional composer like me, hell bent on trying to pull off this musical ménage a trios, said in Keyboard Magazine that he’d fly cross the country and pay more than top dollar for someone’s Protools/Logic rig on the spot if anyone had one running that wouldn’t crash. No one ever took him up on it! Crash after crash after kernel panic after kernel panic. I contemplated taking a hammer and mutilating their pristine interfaces. It was beyond frustrating. It was a million miles beyond unbelievably unfucking unbearable.
One night, the three of us were alone in the studio. We’d had a couple so we were getting along. I was using my best moves. I was being gentle. I was being careful not to offend. I did nothing that could have been remotely construed as in appropriate or “out of the social norm.” And wham! Ms. Princess Protools decides she’s not going to let uppity little Miss Logic slut recognize her hard body badunkadunk hardware anymore. “You can look at me right here in the equipment rack, bitch, but I will NOT permit your copyright-protected protocol attempts at greasy digital access to penetrate my most private of areas!” And with that came a grinding halt to my income stream. Late night calls to tech support, technicians, friends and even Jesus himself (albeit “in vain” at points), could not rectify what had become the beginning of the end of a very tumultuous relationship.
What a sucker I am. I cried for a couple of days. Took long hot showers curled up in a ball on the tiled floor. Buckets of tears later, I turned all of the gear back on again. It worked. And so I struggled through. Again. I dealt with it. Again. For another couple of years. It was tough going most of the time. Occasionally, I was painfully prick teased by the system running without incident for hours, even half days, at a time. There were moments of karmic harmonic bliss. Fleeting moments when I felt the nectar of technology couldn’t taste any sweeter. But undoubtedly, whenever the job was on the line, whenever it was the absolute worst time for the shit to overflow, I was swimming in it.
A couple of months ago, I decided I’d had enough. I wanted peace and harmony in my studio. I wanted to put away the chainsaws and light some damn candles. I wanted to use software that likes each other. Software that gets along. Can’t we all just get along? I was forced to choose. I was given an ultimatum. Backed into a corner. Bitch slapped into the reality that these companies do not care one fuck about the greater good of music. Do not care for one brief second about creating a situation that allows a composer to create at the top of his or her game. They insist you pick one of them. They insist you choose. It’s like pre-midi days when several manufactures were reluctant to allow other synths to violently penetrate their sacred ports. And what happened to them when they finally opened their manufactured legs? They sold more shit than ever before. Because it allowed all of us to do what we do unencumbered by their need to dominate.
No, it wasn’t entirely Ms. Protools fault. I love her dearly. She’s a smooth running, sweet singing hussy. The dictatorship of Emperor Steve of the kingdom of Apple aren’t 100% to blame either. They both make great tools. But they’re both playing the same cruel game on the side. Each one of them wants to rule the world and will suffer no competitors. Kill or be killed. I’ve got the scars to prove it.
I had to choose. Do you marry for sex or brains? Money or love? Complicated as fuck environment setup or plugins that cost 3 times more than the other formats? With the switch to Intel chips and Leopard, I could see into my troubled future and knew I had to pull the plug on one of them.
I went with Uncle Steve. The Big Apple. Current ruler of music. I had to. For Christ’s sake, I’ve been married to Logic longer than my wife! Protools will live a long and healthy life without me. They are the de facto standard. I just don’t need them right now everyday of the week. I’ve got an Mbox sitting on a shelf here so I can deliver in PT when necessary.
So now I’m running the Apogee Symphony, only using Audio Unit plugs. I added more packages like the Sonnox Oxford suite of things to cover stuff I really missed from PT. Yes, I miss Impact but Inflator does some serious signal boosting damage. Yes, I had to wait until the brilliant SoundToys effects were available in AU. Since I’m on an Intel Mac now, I’m forced to get by without Spectrasonics Trilogy and Atmosphere but how the hell long am I suppose to honor our marriage vows and not fool around on the side? Hey Eric! WTF? I’m sorry but I got a little tipsy a few times, got a little randy and loaded up some other developer’s pads (like the amazing Rob Papen synths) - I didn’t want to but you said you’d meet me at the bar later for a drink and some updated plugins but you never showed and I had to get this thing done, and well . . . Marriages have been ruined for less!
I’m happy now. Things run smoothly. My life is simpler. I download lots of pictures of kitty cats and pretty flowers.
Do I miss the wild and debauched times? The “hanging from the rafters” crazy out of my mind nights? That feeling building inside you that makes you realize you’re capable of destroying $30,000 worth of gear in a rage and not care?
Now, when my wife tucks me into bed at night, I have a smile on my face. I didn’t crash today. Not once. And that, my friends, to my ears, is beautiful music.
SP
Friday, November 2, 2007
How To Build An Orchestra And Live To Tell About It
I have been complaining (a lot and mostly to myself) about the lack of useable support for orchestral libraries. The massive amount of hours each of us has spent experimenting, learning, reading, and listening, in a futile effort to create the optimal orchestral template is staggering. The outrageous cost of the sample libraries themselves pales in comparison to the cost of our “wisdom.” I’ll pay any amount (and I think I already have) just to get something that sounds great and works.
None of us could ever look, with pained, exasperated faces, to the supreme sound developers for help. There wasn’t any. “Everyone uses our products in a different way so there’s no point in us trying to explain it.” I actually saw (drugs may have been involved) “Good luck trying to make this shit work all at the same time” written in 2 point on the back of one sample library box. The Garritan Personal Orchestral had the right idea, load up the orchestra and start writing. Unfortunately, I’m not a fan of the sound quality. I want great sounds and a basic template that I can fiddle with. What about it East West, VSL, Sonivox?
Well, I believe I have stumbled (drinking may have been involved) upon my (our) orchestral salvation. Piccolos at the ready!
Yesterday, I accidentally ended up at the VSL site and there, http://vsl.co.at/, like a pot of gold (blow) sitting in the middle of the street (console), were placed video tutorials on how to use their sounds. Maybe they’ve been there since Nixon, but I never got the email about it. No shit. It was almost like going to the Apple site with their really great video tours. Really well done, well-explained, clear, concise videos. It’s a three part series dissecting a composer’s (Christian Kardeis) piece of music – IN LOGIC! (extra bonus for all Logic users) – showing how all of the instruments were laid out, how to manipulate the sounds, how to load an entire orchestra. Almost everything you need to get working with a great sounding orchestra – hell, they even threw in a few orchestration/composition tips. (love what you did with the cembalo Christian) And as if that wasn’t enough (and all sample libraries feel they have already done enough just by making the stuff) . . . They’ve included a downloadable template – the exact piece of music that Christian worked on (sure it’s in Logic 7 but opened perfectly in Logic 8) (Performer, Sonar and Cubase available as well) – complete with the impulse responses he used (because as the voice over correctly states, “the sound of the room is almost as important as the sound itself.” Yep, the whole setup. One easy download. I put the impulse responses in their proper folders – I launched Christian’s template – and, like it was a product from Apple (more blatant stock price manipulation) – it worked! And now, as a customer, I was actually able to dig deep into the sequencer template and have a look at exactly how this guy was using their sounds. He busses instruments “pre fader” to adjust reverb; he controls volume and expression in the VSL player; see how he layered a portamento string patch on top of another string patch and with a flip of the mod wheel the strings beautifully scoop up to the next note. I dug deep enough into his template to find I was developing a little crush on him. (blush) Naturally, since none of us can ever refrain from making the world a better place by fucking with everything!!!!, I “fixed” some of Christian’s patches (matrices in VSL speak) – he had loaded just what he needed for his piece and only used the VSL Special Edition – and I need a more versatile setup than that (i.e. worthy of my stature), but it was a great start to explaining the VSL player and one very good way to build an orchestral setup. BTW, the Special Edition version really kicks ass. Under $500 and you’ve got 90% of a balls deep orchestra. Sure, my Appassionata Strings sounded bigger (and bigger is always better, right honey?) than the Special Ed strings – but the “short bus” version did the job admirably. Better than admirably. So don’t look down on them for their size and limitations, praise their “specialness.”
In short order, I built a killer orchestra in Logic 8. Yeah, I’m on an 8 core MacPro (blatant cock waving) with plus size model ram (12 gig) but I’m thankfully out of the “Kontakt 2 ram is low” pain in the ass issues and I’m writing music! (Note to self: writing music pays bills, dicking with templates and writing blogs does not!)
OK – yes, I still had to load a couple of Kontakt instances (begrudgingly) because damn EW had to go and make their French Horns sound soooooooo killer - big and blatty – (horn players with balls as big as their bells) the Ethel Mermans of the horn sample world - that I refuse to write another cue without them (same goes for their timpani) - (which, if I’m not mistaken, they sampled while they beat it with a 30 lb. sledge hammer). And then, just to prove once again that you never get everything you need for $10,000, EW chose to include the absolute worst woodwinds to counter these fine patches.
My pimped out template loads in 3:30 - just enough time to cruise by youporn.com to check on their beta version and report any bugs – and I’m ready to put in another 12 hour day behind the screen.
Is this nirvana? Is this the reason I got into music? No – that’s still chicks and drugs. But it is why I got into film and tv scoring. I prefer writing music to staring confusingly at a computer screen trying to figure out why Controller 67 won’t route my pedal volume to the filter bank controlling my vibrato on my slide whistle. Yes, you will change things in the template. Yes, you will substitute, add on, tweak, layer and finger fuck Christian’s template to your own liking/working style. But I tell you, within couple of hours, you will have a working knowledge of the VSL player and a damn decent sounding orchestra. And you’ll be writing music.
And after 10 years of trying and crying, don’t you think we all deserve that?
Scooter
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